By Frank Kamuntu
President Yoweri Museveni has reignited a national conversation on marriage traditions in Uganda, particularly in Ankole, as he defends the cautious and structured approach traditionally taken by his people. His remarks, captured in a resurfaced video, challenge the Western concept of ‘love at first sight’ and emphasize the importance of family involvement in choosing a spouse.
In the video, Museveni critiques the rapid and emotion-driven nature of Western marriages, arguing that African societies should be wary of adopting foreign practices blindly. According to him, Ankole customs have historically emphasized careful selection, recommendations, and thorough family investigations before a marriage is arranged.
“The Europeans have brought something dangerous to us. This is something called ‘love at first sight’… that you can be walking to the bus park and see a person passing by, and you start trembling and losing your heart and you are instantly in love with that person, and that is it!” Museveni stated.
He elaborated that in Ankole, love is not an instantaneous emotion but a process. Family members take an active role in recommending potential partners, ensuring that they come from respectable and well-behaved backgrounds before courtship progresses.
Museveni further argues that while European societies have made significant advancements, they have also lost their way in certain aspects of life, particularly in relationships. He warns that falling in love impulsively without proper vetting often results in unstable marriages.
The president suggests that Africans should balance tradition and modernity, ensuring that while people get to know each other, parents also play a guiding role in their children’s marital choices.
“My suggestion is that some European practices are good, but some others, we need to be careful. It is good for people to know each other, but also for the parents to get involved and to play a part,” he advised.
Museveni also criticized the modern education system for failing to teach children about relationships, emphasizing that if parents do not provide guidance, schools will not fill that gap.
“If I cannot advise my own child how to live in the world, and yet when he goes to school the teachers only teach him about frogs and lizards and cockroaches, who is going to teach him about the world?” he questioned.
His remarks have sparked a heated debate among Ugandans. While some agree that African traditions should be preserved to ensure stability in marriages, others argue that individuals should be free to choose their partners based on love and personal compatibility rather than family recommendations. The discussion reflects broader societal shifts as traditional customs clash with evolving modern perspectives on relationships and marriage.
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